Somnophilia

Somnophilia is a fetish in which an individual desires to have sex with someone while one of them is asleep. Both the awake party (or parties) and the asleep party can be considered somnophiles. Somnophilia, in the context of kink and CNC, isn’t about violating someone’s will. It’s about crafting a shared fantasy where one partner surrenders control, even in imagined sleep. Somnophiles who desire to be awake during sleep play are often called Predators. Somnophiles who desire to be asleep during sleep play are often called sleeping beauties and/or victims. ### Origins of the Term Somnophilia The term somnophilia comes from the Latin "somnus," which means sleep, and "philia," which means attraction or love. It was introduced in a sexual context by sexologist John Money in 1986 to describe arousal involving a sleeping or unconscious partner. Over time, the term has broadened and is now used in both clinical and community contexts. ### Somnophilia Statistics - Up to 9% of people report an interest in somnophilia, while more than 7% say they've engaged in it. - Sleep-related arousal is biologically normal. People experience multiple spontaneous arousal cycles during sleep. This can take the form of night-time erections or increased genital blood flow. - There are more than 90 groups and 300 group posts discussing somnophilia on FetLife. ### Why People Are Into It People are into somnophilia for many different reasons. Here are a few of the more common ones: ### Passivity and Stillness Some people love the idea of someone who is still or passive. The turn-on is often the stillness itself, no necessarily an particular sexual act. ### Power Imbalance Some people love to play with the idea of submission and loss of control on the part of the sleeping person. As such, this kink often overlaps with CNC or free use play. In consensual roleplay, the power dynamic and scenes are negotiated in advance. ### Intimacy and Trust Scenes involving a sleeping partner are most often practiced in long-term relationships. This is a dynamic that requires (and can help to enforce) trust and intimacy. ### Waking Up to Sex For the sleeping partner, some say they enjoy being woken up to sex, or enjoy getting aroused in the state between sleep and wakefulness. ### Safety and Consent Because consent can't be given while asleep, this type of play is best practiced between partners who know and trust each other to give consent in advance. In many cases, sleep is part of the role-play, rather than real sleep.