Rope Compatibility Checks

A list of questions to explore with potential rope partners designed to help direct discussion and exploration of skills, safety, consent and concepts with the goal of determining compatibility for tying together. This is neither an exhaustive list of all questions relevant to rope play nor a implying all these topics must be covered before folks can engage in rope scenes together but a prompt to help facilitate communication. ### Background and Experience - Tell me a little about yourself as a kinkster and your experience with rope. - How do you refer to your role in rope (person who ties, rigger, rope top, person who gets tied, rope bottom, rope bunny, rope model, etc.)? - Are you a rope switch? - Do you self-tie? - When did you first start exploring rope play? - How often do you tie/get tied? - Do you do decorative ties? Floor rope? Suspensions--partials and/or full? - Do you subscribe to a particular style, lineage, or approach? - What resources do you use/have you used to develop and improve your rope skills? (local education opportunities, rope cons, study with a mentor/teacher, online resources such as TheDuchy and ShibariStudy) - Do you teach? Perform? - What do you think about “the scene”? - Are you involved in your local kink community? Why or why not? ### Partners - Who do you usually tie with? Regular/recurring rope partner(s)? Pickup play? - How do you refer to those you tie or get tied by (bottom, bunny, model, top, rigger, etc.)? - What is important to you in a play partner? - How do you vet your play partners? - Do you tie with people of various genders/races/ages/sizes? - Can you adapt your ties to different body types? What are some ways you adapt your ties? - What is some of the best feedback you’ve received from someone you've tied with? - How do you like to get to know someone in rope? (labbing, playful scene, public scene, etc.) - Why do you want to scene with me? ### Play Compatibility - What draws you to rope as a form of play? - Can you describe the energy of your scenes/type(s) of play? - What is/are your style(s)? (playful, sensual floor rope, sadistic partials, dynamic transitions, etc.) - For person being tied: Ideally how do you like to feel in a rope scene? (exposed, desperate, happy, beautiful, powerful, comfortable, etc.) - For person tying: Ideally what would you like your bottom to feel? - Do you enjoy playing with power (D/s energy) during a rope scene? - Do you prefer to play in public or in private? - What music do you like for a scene? - Do you like to take photos or have someone take photos during a scene? - Do you like to integrate other types of play into a scene? - What makes a rope scene feel like a success or failure to you? - For person tying: what are your feelings on bottoms making requests and suggestions while bottoming? ### Rope-specific preferences - For person tying: What harnesses do you have in your repertoire? Which do you prefer to tie and why? - For person being tied: What harnesses have you experienced? Which were your favorites/least favorites and why? - What positions/sensations/effects do you enjoy creating/experiencing/co-creating? Expansion, being stretched out Compression, being balled up Torsion, being twisted Back bends, being arched Waist pressure/rope Hip pressure/rope Shin pressure (e.g., futomomo ties) Partial suspension (i.e., part of your body on the ground) Face up, face down, side suspensions Inversions (entirely or partially head toward the floor) Dynamic transitions (transitioning from one position to another, usually in the air) - Expansion, being stretched out - Compression, being balled up - Torsion, being twisted - Back bends, being arched - Waist pressure/rope - Hip pressure/rope - Shin pressure (e.g., futomomo ties) - Partial suspension (i.e., part of your body on the ground) - Face up, face down, side suspensions - Inversions (entirely or partially head toward the floor) - Dynamic transitions (transitioning from one position to another, usually in the air) - Is there anything you’d particularly like to try in rope (with me, or in general)? ### Health and Safety - How familiar are you with the injury potential from rope play (nerve damage, pulled muscles/muscle strain, soreness, rope burn, rope marks, petechiae, fainting, falling)? - What is your risk profile around rope? - For person tying: How long does it usually take for you to get someone down from a suspension? - For person tying: Are you willing to and have you ever cut rope? - Have you ever had a major accident or incident? - For person tying: What’s your experience tying bottoms with (below) situations/preferences/limitations (as relevant)? Mobility and range of motion considerations (limited range of motion of a shoulder, hyperflexibility, double jointed, etc.) Medical conditions (raynaud’s, diabetes, seizure disorder, etc.) Previous injuries (dislocated shoulders, broken bones, etc.) Implants Piercings (if they require consideration/care during a scene) Triggers (touching certain parts of body) - Mobility and range of motion considerations (limited range of motion of a shoulder, hyperflexibility, double jointed, etc.) - Medical conditions (raynaud’s, diabetes, seizure disorder, etc.) - Previous injuries (dislocated shoulders, broken bones, etc.) - Implants - Piercings (if they require consideration/care during a scene) - Triggers (touching certain parts of body) - For person being tied: What physical or mental conditions do you experience that I need to be aware of during rope play? - What safe words and alternative means of communication do you use in play for safety? - Are you comfortable with using plain-language to communicate during a scene? - What does “sustainable” mean in a scene to you? ### Expectations and Limits - Do you expect rope play to lead to an ongoing play relationship/sex/a romantic relationship? - Will you be able to respect my limits (do not touch me here, do not put these parts of your body on me, do not put rope here, etc.)? - What is your comfort level with ties that require moving breast tissue or tying near the groin? - What are your (relevant) limits? - Can I touch you? Where? With what parts of my body? - For person being tied: Can I struggle in your rope? At what point during a scene is struggle okay? - For person being tied: Can I explore the space in your rope? - What will we do if there’s an incident or injury in rope? - Do you have health insurance? ### Aftercare - What kind of aftercare do you need? - Can you commit to providing the kind of aftercare I need? - Are you comfortable with the level of aftercare I can commit to? - Do you have a person who can provide your aftercare if I cannot? - When would you like to start talking to others? - For person tying: Would you like help coiling your rope or picking up the space? - What check-ins would you like in the day(s) after the scene? Would you prefer these to be voice calls/email/other? cassandramae. (Sept 2023). Bottom-driven Rope Compatibility Check. Available at this URL. Accessed on 10/19/23.