Jack and Jill Party

A Jack and Jill (JJ) party is another name for a sex party where the aim is to just be yourself, have fun, and make good-quality friends. A Jack and Jill party is not like other sex parties, where people might show up and wait around for someone to make the first move. At a Jack and Jill party, people show up, get naked, and hang out. This means they might visit, play, watch, be watched by others, and get involved at whatever level they are OK with. These parties tend to be very discrete and private, which keeps the undesirable people out. This creates a a controlled, safe, relaxed, and laid back environment. ### Origins of the Term The term "Jack and Jill party" typically refers to a co-ed pre-wedding party or fundraiser where both the bride and groom (and their friends of all genders) are invited. In Canada and the U.S., it's used as a way to raise money for the couple's wedding or honeymoon. It's usually a casual, friendly event with games, raffles, food, and drinks. It is not sexual in nature. The kink-related term "Jack and Jill party" is documented as being used in the late 1980s in the queer community. The name is an allusion to the children's nursery rhyme, but the "Jack" and "Jill" refer to gay men and lesbians, respectively. The name is also a play on one of the slang meanings of "jack," referring to sexual self-pleasure. ### Why people are into it Those who attend these types of parties may be interested in a safe, social environment to connect with people of different genders and sexual orientations who share their interest in consensual sexual activities. It can provide a space for voyeurism, exhibitionism, or other forms of group play. For some, the appeal is the "look but don't touch" aspect, while others may be looking for more direct participation. ### How to play Organizing and attending a Jack and Jill sex party requires a high level of communication and respect for boundaries. Organizers should clearly define the expectations for attendees, such as whether touching is permitted, and what areas are for play. As an attendee, be clear with other partygoers about what you are looking for. Do not assume interest, and always ask for explicit, enthusiastic consent before any interaction. As with any kink event, "no" is a complete sentence. If someone declines an invitation to interact, accept their answer immediately and with respect. To ensure that consent can be given clearly and enthusiastically, it is crucial for all attendees to be sober or to drink alcohol responsibly. Even in a voyeuristic context, it is courteous to ask if it's okay to watch a scene, especially from a close distance. ### Controversy The term "Jack and Jill party" can be confusing because its most common contemporary meaning relates to a co-ed wedding shower. This can create confusion for individuals searching for either of the two very different meanings. The use of gender-specific terms like "Jack" and "Jill" has also been critiqued for potentially being exclusionary to those who are gender non-conforming or non-binary. This is a valid concern, and it's important to recognize that the term is largely obsolete in the kink community in favor of more inclusive language like "mixed-gender sex party" or simply "sex party."