Gainer

A gainer is someone who enjoys intentionally gaining weight, often as a personal preference, lifestyle, or identity within the broader feedism kink. The weight gain can be fat, muscle, or both. While related to being a feedee, being a gainer is distinct. A feedee typically enjoys being fed and may gain weight through another person’s actions (a feeder). A gainer, on the other hand, actively seeks weight gain themselves. Many gainers self-feed and self-direct the process, deriving pleasure from eating, stuffing, and bodily growth. This does not necessarily involve a partner or power-exchange dynamic. ### Why People Are Into It Here are some of the main reasons people are into gaining/feeder-gainer dynamics. ### Attraction to Size, Softness, Growth For some people, larger bodies, visible weight gain, softness, roundness, and changes over time can be sexy. The focus isn’t just the end body size, but the process of change. ### Empowerment Intentionally eating, gaining, and directing one’s own body can feel empowering, controlled, and self-affirming. This is especially true in a cultural that emphasizes shrinking, dieting, or disciplining the body. ### Reclaiming Shame Weight gain, fatness, and overeating are heavily stigmatized. Being a gainer can be a way of reclaiming what society labels as “wrong” or “undisciplined” and transforming it into pleasure, and even pride. ### Comfort and Security Gaining can tap into feelings of being well-provided-for, indulged, or allowed to take up space, both physically and emotionally. ### Power Dynamics In feeder/gainer relationships, power exchange can be part of the appeal. However, many gainers do not engage in power exchange at all and prefer self-directed gaining. ### Controversy Gaining and feeder–gainer dynamics are controversial because they involve sexuality, body size, and health, topics that already carry a lot of stigma and strong opinions. The most common concern is health risk. Critics argue that intentionally gaining weight, especially in extreme ways, can increase the risk of serious medical issues. This includes heart disease, diabetes, mobility loss, and reduced quality of life. Media coverage often highlights extreme cases, which reinforces the idea that the kink is inherently dangerous. Another major issue is consent and influence, particularly in feeder–gainer relationships. Some people worry that encouraging a partner to gain weight crosses the line into enabling harm or exerting unhealthy control. Even within the community, there are debates about responsibility, long-term wellbeing, and how to make sure participation is fully informed and voluntary. The kink is also controversial because of fat stigma. Critics may see it as promoting unhealthy behavior, while supporters argue that attraction to fat bodies is not the same as encouraging harm. Supporters emphasize that not all gaining looks the same. Many people engage with feedism as fantasy, roleplay, or a slow, self-directed process rather than extreme or life-limiting weight gain. They stress that adults are capable of making informed choices about their own bodies. They also argue that focusing only on extreme cases erases the experiences of people who practice this kink with boundaries, self-awareness, and personal limits. Finally, there is discomfort around the permanence of physical change. Unlike kinks that happen only in a scene, gaining can involve lasting changes to the body. This makes outsiders more uneasy.