Febfem

Febfem (short for female-exclusive bisexual female) refers to a bisexual woman who chooses to date and form relationships only with women, even though she may still experience attraction to men. The term is used by people who identify as bisexual rather than lesbian, but want to make it clear they are not open to dating men Some febfems make this choice because they feel more romantically or emotionally aligned with women. Others do so for reasons related to safety, trauma, politics, or past experiences. There is no single reason why people identify this way. This label helps bisexual women describe their orientation honestly without inviting interest from men or misrepresenting themselves as lesbians. ### Origins of the Term Febfem is believed to have been coined on Tumblr by xliaxheartlock in 2017. Febfem was created because a lot of bisexual women felt stuck between two bad options: - Calling themselves lesbian (which felt inaccurate). - Calling themselves bisexual (which made men assume access). Febfem says: ### Controversy While many people love and embrace the febfem label, the term carries some controversy. Critics, especially from lesbian and bisexual communities, worry that it blurs the line between lesbian identity and bisexuality, reinforces stigma about attraction to men, or frames sexual orientation as a choice rather than an innate trait. The debate is less about the word itself and more about who gets to define boundaries, labels, and belonging in queer spaces. Some people associate febfem with TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist) spaces because a version of the term was used in certain online circles that promoted “women-only” identity in a way that excluded trans women. In those contexts, “female-exclusive” was sometimes framed not just as a dating boundary, but as a biological definition of womanhood, which directly overlaps with TERF ideology. The problem is that the same word was used in two very different ways: - One version = a bisexual woman choosing to date women. - Another version = a political stance about who counts as a woman. Because of that overlap, some queer and trans communities treat the label with caution, even when an individual febfem is not trans-exclusionary at all.